Cody Johnson Made Me Cry

Music is a language that doesn’t speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it’s in the bones, it’s in the bones. – Keith Richards

Music is a powerful force in our lives. There are songs that we use to pump us up before games or workouts, songs that we use to calm ourselves, songs that make us happy, and songs that rip out our still beating hearts and show them to us. In the past I have written about the power of Garth Brooks' The Dance. That song, which we played at my son Peyton's funeral, almost always brings me to tears. Recently I was surprised to discover another song that brings on the water works for me.

For the past few months it has become a Sunday morning routine around our house to watch The Hot 20 Countdown on CMT. Personally, the genre doesn't hold much interest for me, but my wife loves it, so we watch it.  One morning, there was a video by Parker McCollum, a former student of mine, for his song To Be Loved by You. Honestly, I couldn't tell you where it was ranked in the countdown when it started, but each week we tuned in to watch it eventually climb to the coveted number one spot. There were a few other songs I enjoyed, but for the most part, the music was bad pop music with a southern accent (Florida/Georgia Line and Luke Bryan).

A few weeks ago as I was watching, the song 'Til You Can't by Cody Johnson came on. While the song is okay, it was the video that truly had me breaking down. The video is three acts. The first two acts are cliches of country music. Manly men doing manly things in a manly way with other men. In scene one, the manly men are gathered to fish, and in the second, they are gathering to fix up an old car, and in both scenes the crew is waiting on the main character to arrive. Our protagonist is the young, handsome guy that may or may not show up, but ultimately does, and they bond, have fun, and drink beer. The message is simple.  Live in the moment and don't put off those special moments.  

The third scene is the part that rips out my still beating heart and shows it to me. All of the characters from the first two scenes, in addition to their significant others sitting around a picnic table in the back yard eating, drinking, chatting, and having a good time. Suddenly a call comes in and one of the women gets up, crosses the yard to answer her phone. It's obvious through her actions that something is wrong. Her husband gets up and takes the phone and holds his wife as they cut to the other members of the crew with the same expressions on their faces.  All of this plays over the lyrics: 

                  So take that phone call from your momma and just talk away
                  'Cause you'll never know how bad you wanna 'til you can't someday
                  Don't wait on tomorrow 'cause tomorrow may not show
                  Say your sorries, your I-love-yous, 'cause man you never know

The video then cuts to images of the protagonist in happier times while Johnson emotionally belts out the chorus with emphasis :

                  If you got a chance, take it, take it while you got a chance

                  If you got a dream, chase it, 'cause a dream won't chase you back
                  If you're gonna love somebody
                  Hold 'em as long and as strong and as close as you can
                  'Til you can't

This is the part of the song is what brings me to tears.  On October 8, 2014, I was on the receiving end of one of those phone calls.  That was the day I learned that Peyton had hanged himself.  I was sitting in my truck in an empty parking lot in the middle of a driving rain storm when the call came.  The pain was incredible.  I was screaming, yelling, crying, beating on the dash, punching the roof, snot was running out of my nose, and tears were streaming down my face, and I didn't care. Even though he didn't pass for another five days, and I was able to be at his bedside to tell him everything that I wanted to, I can never be sure that he heard me.  

Sadly, I know that tomorrow is not promised.  After Peyton's death, I knew that nothing was certain.  I decided to take chances and go after things I wanted even though there was no guarantee that I would get them. I told people how I felt and what they meant to me, and when my father suffered a massive stroke, I was not only at his bedside telling him all the things that he meant to me, but I didn't look back with regret at the things we could have done, but didn't.  

I am sure that so many of us out there have that one song that can bring us to our knees, the one that makes us pull over into a parking lot until we are able to see clearly again, or the one that has us crying into our coffee on a lazy Sunday morning.  It is a reminder that our time on this planet is finite and fleeting, and it's the same for those around us.  Will I have this chorus tattooed on my shoulder as I did with the refrain of Dylan Thomas' Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, I doubt it. However, this song will give me pause and make me think. After all tomorrow is never promised.  

Author's Note:  On Sunday, April 3, 2022, Til You Can't was the #1 video on CMT.  Congratulations Cody.